We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
