I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
