Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dicks are not precious.
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