Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
"it" just moved
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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