well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
