Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
