I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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