Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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