Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
one might say we're banned from that church
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
