found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
