No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize