come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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