I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
