I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
