All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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