Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
NoShamevember. You game?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize