Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
