hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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