Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
