mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
