how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
