I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
