she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
