you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
