I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
