I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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