i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
now i know why i became what i already was.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize