My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize