you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
