i will never coherently bang her
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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