i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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