you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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