Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize