He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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