you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
