Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We don't watch enough power rangers
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
