My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
