I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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