This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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