what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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