I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
