it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
