Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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