Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
