why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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