went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize