maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
