last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
