if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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