brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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