so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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