I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
