Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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