Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
