Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I need a burrito and a hug.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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