I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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