i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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