Will you blow on my dice?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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