Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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