Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
