It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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