I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize