Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We're too hungover to prance.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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