is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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