You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
