I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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