we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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