i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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