You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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